Groucho Marx quotes

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them, I have others."

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."

"Why was I with her? She reminds me of you."

" From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

"Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot."

"I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book."

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."

"Will you marry me? Did he leave you any money? Answer the second question first."

"Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. "