You can be a rockstar too

Delirium: "His madness ... His madness keeps him sane."
Dream: "And do you think he is the only one, my sister?"
The Sandman, Issue 31, written by Neil Gaiman

I live in a delusion. I've come to accept that. I've had to accept that, for my own sanity.

I want to be a professional novelist. That is ALL I want to do. I don't want to work for the man any more. I don't want to live off other people. I just want to write.

Yes, it's a dream. But maybe, just maybe, it is a possibility. Maybe it will happen.

What I'm talking about is this: I've come to think of myself as a professional author. Yes, author, not just writer. I've come to live in a delusional little world where I'm only waiting for my next novel to be on the shelves of my local bookstores. I'm only waiting for the next short story to appear.

It sounds crazy. I know that. But it's how I'm making it through my day. It's how I push ahead in this crazy world.

The idea came to me from a reporter who worked for me a few years ago. He was a good guy, smoked two packs a day, wore lots of leather, had spikey blonde hair. But a good guy. Whenever I told him to do something he didn't want to do, he shot back at me with, "Hey! I don't have to do that! I'm a rockstar!" Being his boss, I usually suggested he do what I told him or he could be a rockstar out on the streets. So, he did what I told him. But I always found it funny.

He's a rockstar. Or, at least, he thinks of himself as rockstar in his own version of life.

I get that now. I've joined him. I don't think I'm a rockstar, but I know I'm an author.

Otherwise, I think I'd crack up and just become a street person or something.

You are all welcome to attend my next book signing. I'll let you know when it is.

"Is a dream a lie if it don't come true, or is it something worse?"
The River
by Bruce Springsteen