Friday, September 27, 2013

Gimme Three Spells

This is what happens when the stereo isn't working in the Explorer and I have too much time for thinking while driving ...

I was snug as a sword
at the head of a horde
when up rode a man in plate.

He was the size of a ship
with an ax on his hip
and a look that was filled with hate.

He said, “Hey there wizard
with a familiar of a lizard,
I hear your cantrips are great.

“But I’m the lord of the land
and magic has been banned
so your death can no longer wait.”

I was scared and fearing for my soul
I was shaking like an imp in Hades.
’Cause he was tough and rough,
and didn’t look to bluff,
sporting in all those blades.

I said, “Wait a second, master,
I’m only a low-level caster,
I can’t even summon up dew.

“And while I know we don’t agree
About what’s to happen to me
I’d ask one pledge from you.”

“Won’t you give me three spells,
Gimme three spells, master,
Gimme three spells and not one more.

Gimme three spells,
Gimme three spells, master,
And I’ll fly away from here for sure.”

Well the warriors cleared out
and I started to shout
for anyone to save my hide.

And I’m telling you, sirrah,
That I wasn’t no nearer
To that armored man being denied.

But he turned and pointed way over there,
And that’s the chance I was seeking out.
And you could see me running for my life,
I’d never come back there, no doubt.

“Won’t you give me three spells,
Gimme three spells, master,
Gimme three spells and not one more.

Gimme three spells,
Gimme three spells, master,
And I’ll fly away from here for sure.”

(my compliments to the late Ronnie Van Zant and Allen Collins)

2 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

I too am a Lynyrd Skynyrd fan. I favor Saturday Night Special a little more.

This was pretty funny.

Ty Johnston said...

I was a Skynyrd fan when I was younger, but got burnt out on them. These days more of an Allman Brothers fan, with some Bob Seger.