Facebook page are already aware, my wife died on Sunday, May 11, Mother's Day, at 2:04 p.m. my time.
It had been a long battle, more than a year of her fighting against Stage IV breast cancer. There were lots of ups and lots of downs. There were a few weeks in March of 2013 in which I had thought I was losing her. Then there were the weeks early in 2014 when I actually believed she had this thing licked because she was energetic and getting around without any aid.
All that has come crashing down.
Yes, I've shed some tears today, and I'm sure more will come. I've also fought back against tears more than once. I was there at her side right until the end, and even beyond. Thank God I've had my strong mother next to me to give support.
I have a lot of thoughts, and possibly a lot of things to say, but right at this moment I'm tired after having been awake for nearly three days and nights at a hospice center. Sleep will not be coming soon as I'm too jittery, too wound up, but I do need to try and rest, especially as I've still got some paperwork and red tape and things to face in the coming days.
And then I've got empty rooms to stare into and closets to empty and all kinds of other things I can't quite wrap my mind around yet.
It doesn't seem real. I keep waiting for her to call for me from the other room. I keep waiting to hear her television on. I keep waiting for her to call my cell phone.
But none of that is ever going to happen again. Never.
And she was only 46. I will be 45 next month. We were supposed to have at least another 20 years together, maybe 30 or even 40. Instead, what we got was 12 years.
I'm thankful I at least got that.
Kelly Morgan, wherever you are, know that you are loved, and you will always be loved. I will take care of our beagle baby, Lily, for ever and ever, and I will never forget you. Despite all my failings, you forgave me everything, and I can never thank you enough for everything you brought into my life. You opened my eyes to so much, and you made me a better person. You made a lot of people better simply by knowing them, and I fear you never realized that about yourself.
I could write on. I could write forever about her. But I have to rest. I'm sure I'll write more at another date.
Kelly, I love you, honey.